I'm going to jail i love you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
