Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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