I haven't been this sober since birth.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
