hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
