U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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