Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
