Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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