Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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