hotel room ftw
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
