dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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