Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
