The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
