so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Farmville is her only friend.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
