Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
