blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
