i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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