Michael Bay diarrhea
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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