Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize