he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
