David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
