My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
