I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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