his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Semen is not good for contacts.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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