anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We got so high we made milksteak
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
