You're so nebulous sometimes
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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