omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
