I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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