I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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