the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
