That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
