Who did Billy Mays play for?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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