How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
