i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
