Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
