Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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