I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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