Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
