I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
