I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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