Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
