just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
