the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize