I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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