He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize