ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
