So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
