i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize