Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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