You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
They are going to name an STD after you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize