Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
