Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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