I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
