those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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