What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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