..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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