There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
