I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
