I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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