i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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